Day 6 - Monday, August 10th

What made me smile today?

Waking up to Baby sleeping peacefully in my bed this morning

Baby's huge smile when I came to pick him up from nursery

Baby's legs (I have a Baby leg fetish... perhaps it's partly because I know now that nearly all the movement I felt when I was pregnant was his legs constantly pushing against my tummy)

What triggered me today?

I've realised that I can deal with triggers perfectly fine when I'm not doing anything. For example, coming home on the district line today Baby was terribly restless and almost managed to wriggle out of the sling, the sling which I had tied so neatly was a complete shambles by the time we got home. All this I found very annoying, but I was able to avoid the bubbling explosion feeling, because I was just sitting on the tube doing nothing (besides pandering to Baby's constant wriggling).
On the other hand, during dinner I became disproportionately upset because Baby was eating very messily (which meant I would have a more difficult time cleaning up afterwards) and was making it very difficult for me to eat my dinner. And then he lost interest in eating and started waving and banging his spoon (as he usually does) while I was frantically trying to finish my own meal which I had put aside while I was trying to help him eat his. In the end he was ready to come out of his chair before I was finished, and if I don't finish my meal in one sitting I get irrationally irritated. What I need to do here is change my expectations - there will be a lot mess that I will have to clean up (wishful thinking if I hope otherwise), and be thankful I'm able to eat some dinner with him.

What would I have done differently today?

I would have dealt with my 'dinner feelings' better, but goodness, with me being so tired and hungry and it being so late already, I don't know how I would have.

What will I try to do tomorrow?

Try to make sure I deal with dinner triggers. Baby eats messy - that's normal, he's still learning! I will probably not be able to finish my dinner - oh well!

What am I grateful for?

Baby is so forgiving - I make so many mistakes yet he still comes to me for cuddles and kisses.