Day 69 - Monday, November 16th

What made me smile today?

Baby pointing to a man's umbrella on the tube today, and when I said 'umbrella' he put his hand on his head so I said 'yes the umbrella goes over your head to stop your head from getting wet from the rain'

Seeing Baby in an unexpected part of the nursery today when I went to pick him up, and when he saw me he ran over to me and hugged my legs

Baby seeing and then pointing to the mound of hair on the table (happened to be his hair which I'd been cutting during the evening) and when I said that's your hair he touched the part of his head where I'd been cutting his hair

And the funniest - I gave Baby a biscuit (speculoos Shetsie!) for dessert after dinner tonight and he was happily munching away at it. Then he tried to break it into smaller pieces by pulling it apart, so I showed him how to snap the biscuit, and once it had been snapped into about 3 small pieces he proceeded to stuff all of them into his mouth, and then pointed to the corner where I keep the biscuits. At that point I realised he wanted more (he knows that I won't give him more of anything while he's still holding food in his hands) and so I told him he was only having 1 biscuit for dessert. He then took out 2 of the pieces from his mouth and ended up slowly eating the rest of his biscuit, savouring each little bite.

What triggered me today?

Nothing - I knew he would be upset while I cooked and washed up the dishes after dinner, but time apart during the day meant I had loads of patience for his upset antics. I think on a home day I would not have acted so well...

What would I have done differently today?

Nothing.

What will I try to do tomorrow?

Remember voice, triggers, be gentle, limits.

What am I grateful for?

Baby safe and sound in my arms today - we are still in something of an aftermath following the Paris attacks on Friday.

Day 68 - Tuesday, November 10th

What made me smile today?

The huge smile on Baby's face as he ran towards me when I came to pick him up from nursery

Baby waving (kind of) and blowing kisses (kind of) for the first time when I dropped him off at nursery

Baby looking for my belly button on the tube, thinking I didn't know what he was doing, then giggling when I caught him out

What triggered me today?

Nothing - I knew Baby would want me to not wash up the dishes and spend time with him instead... he just cried though instead of running around doing everything he wasn't allowed to do. The former meant I could still get on with finishing the washing up, the latter would have probably triggered me and been more of a challenge.

What would I have done differently today?

Nothing.

What will I try to do tomorrow?

Remember to be gentle, voice, triggers, limits.

What am I grateful for?

The incredibly smooth pooey nappy change we had after dinner. It usually is anything but.

Day 67 - Monday, November 9th

What made me smile today?

Baby insisting on wearing his wellies (clean! never been worn out!) inside and clomping about in them

Baby lying down on the mat for his nappy change

Baby sitting so still on my lap while we were at the doctor's surgery waiting for my chicken pox jab to be ready - and he even gave me a hug

What triggered me today?

So, as you might have noticed, I have been absent for the past few weeks thanks to fun, busy, tiring times with the house guest, and then the many days it usually takes for me to get back into the swing of things. In the past few weeks I've had a lot of ups and downs with Baby... and I've had to really think about what is triggering me, and how I can deal with it better. So while there were no triggers today I have been triggered many times over the past few weeks, always because Baby was trying to get my attention with negative behaviour, trying so hard to get my attention because I've been busy with cooking/cleaning/preparing. He's not very good at amusing himself while I'm busy. I just have to remember to be patient while he learns how to do that. I have to remember to look beyond the behaviour, and see the little person asking for help (to paraphrase a lovely quote).

What would I have done differently today?

What will I try to do tomorrow?

What am I grateful for?

Baby sitting very still on my lap while we were with the doctor. I did have second thoughts about bringing him along as I imagined him running wild and pulling things out of drawers etc but he sat so still and serious on my lap the whole time.